I am a single mother of a 7-year-old boy who still sleeps in the bed with me. He seems to be afraid in his own bed, and I am not sure why. What should I do?

Your son has never had to learn to comfort himself when alone at night, an essential skill for healthy development. Helping him gain confidence in this area is well worth the effort. Speak with him about the self-esteem he will develop by learning to sleep on his own and the associated privileges, such as sleepovers with friends. Establish a soothing bedtime ritual -- including music, reading in bed, a comfort toy, and most important, soothing self-talk that’s independent of you. Agree on a sequence of steps that will lead to his independence, such as his moving to another place in your room to sleep initially and then going to his own room, where you stay with him (but not in his bed) until he falls asleep. If he gets up and seems afraid, reassure him, remind him of his tools and return him to bed gently but firmly. Do not let him into your bed under any circumstances! Letting him into your bed can actually reinforce his fear. Reward him with a good cuddle in the morning.

Dr. Patti Zomber is a child psychologist based in Marina del Rey, Calif. She has written numerous articles about parenting, and she is a contributing editor on NestleFamily.com as well as the editor of the Los Angeles Psychologist journal.

Please Note: This Expert Q&A feature is intended to impart general child development information and mealtime tips. This is not to take the place of medical consultation and you should consult your doctor for medical advice or services.